Kevin DeShazo

First, we had the Swagger Wagon.  Now, Dad Life.  This was done by Church On The Move out of my hometown of Tulsa, OK.  Enjoy.

Yep.  That just happened.

To the one who so affectionately calles me “Da-ee”:

Employee, Boss, Manager, Assistant, Co-worker, Graduate, Neighbor, Director, CEO, Friend.  No title carries the weight, responsibility, honor or joy as Daddy.

You light up a room with your smile.

You erase the worries of the world with your laugh.

You break even the hardest of hearts with your smile.

You make me Daddy.

I love you Gabe.  To be your “Da-ee” is all any man could ever ask for.

I tend to always be on the go. At least mentally. I’m always thinking, planning stressing about work, family, new projects, the future, etc. Mentally, I feel like I never rest. Some days, it’s good just to sit. With my son. And rest. Today is one of those days.

If I ever have a video of Gabe like this, you have permission to punch me.

Thanks for my friend Grant for sending this to me.

Gabe has been sick this week.  Really sick.  Not like incurable disease sick, but vomiting/sleep all day/cry when I’m awake/not hungry type sick.  With an ear infection serving as the proverbial cherry on top.  As a parent, this is a horrible thing to bear witness to.  Nothing is worse than your child feeling terrible.  Gabe has had ear infections each of the last 4 or 5 months (which earns us a visit to the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist? Hooray!), which are not the most exciting things.  But this is his first time to actually be sick.  To make matters worse, our floors are being redone in our home (after a 12 month battle), so we are all crammed into our bedroom – we can’t walk on the floors, plus we get high just walking out of our bedroom.  I realized “crammed” is relative, as there are millions of people that fit 7 residents in a home the size of our room.  With dirt floors and no running water.  Still, our situation isn’t fun.  We can only watch so many episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba before we eventually eat each other.  I’m not sure what would cause that course of events, but the fumes are going to my head.

The thing about sick kids, is that moms are made for this stuff.  Megan knows exactly what to do, when to do it.  No blinking, no hesitating.  It’s like she’s a female MacGyver (if MacGyver were a caretaker of course).  As dad, I just support and try not to get thrown up on.  The thing that frustrates me as a dad, and really just as a guy, is that I can’t fix it.  Dad’s are supposed to be able to fix things.  Take care of things.  Granted, when it comes to doing handiwork around the house, I’m more Tim Taylor than Bob Vila.  That’s a different story.  Gabe is my kid.  My family.  Those things dad should be able to take care of.  Just by being dad.  And I can’t.  And it kills me.  Nothing makes you feel like more of a failure than holding your kid knowing there is literally nothing you can do (and with Motrin and Tylenol having been recalled, there’s really nothing we can do to ease the pain other than wait it out).  Being dad isn’t enough.

I like to be in control.  At least as much as possible.  Not being able to control this situation is, to say the least, frustrating.  As much as it frustrates me, it’s also a bit freeing.  It puts into perspective the issue of control.  I’m really not in control.  I can’t do anything.  Literally anything.  Can’t even “fix” my sick kid who has nothing more than a cold.  I don’t know why I have to keep learning this lesson over and over and over, but I do.  Guaranteed next week I’ll again be planning out things thinking I am in control of how it all turns out.  And the cycle will continue.

Then again, scientists still haven’t figured out a cure for the common cold, so maybe I’m not too bad.

Do you struggle with control?  How has this struggle manifested itself in your life? (+2 points for “manifested”)

Gabe’s newest obsession (and I do mean obsession) is the TV show Yo Gabba Gabba. I’m fairly certain that the creators of this show are on some serious drugs. Maybe the strongest drugs available. It is absolutely nuts. Truthfully, it really is a pretty decent show and they have some cool bands on like The Roots and The Shins. I’m pretty sure that alone makes me a good parent for letting my kid watch it. Each episode they have what the call Super Music Friends Show. Everybody gets really excited about. One of the Super Music Friends Show episodes featured, as I mentioned earlier, The Roots. It is probably my favorite Super Music Friends Show ever. Mostly because of the white guy. And because of DJ Lance Rock’s sweet moves (about :50 in). But mostly because of the white guy. Enjoy:

I have to be honest.  I am horrible when it comes to serving.  Not in terms of serving people, but serving my community, advancing the Kingdom.  There are so many incredible people and organizations here in OKC that are doing some great things for the marginalized people of this city.  Every week I hear about the beautiful things that these groups are doing.  The changes they are seeing.  The hope they are giving.  The Kingdom they are spreading.  And I get excited, energized, motivated, moved.  I’m ready to go for it, arm in arm with them, fighting for those who are currently incapable of fighting for themselves.

Then I come home and sit on the couch.  I lock the doors, shut the windows and act like nobody is home.  Ok it isn’t that bad, but you get the idea.  What, at one moment, is passion to serve the Kingdom, turns very quickly into laziness.  I do nothing.  I risk nothing.  I help noone.  I blog about these causes.  I talk about them.  I tweet about them.  Then pat myself on the back for the good I’ve done.  I act like I do good by associating myself with those that do good (this was something that came up in discussion last night that I thought was huge).  “My church works with the homeless.  My friend Jim spends hours mentoring children.  My buddy Mike serves orphans.”  Since my church/friends are advancing the Kingdom, then, by association, I definitely am.  Yes, this is sick.  But I can’t sit here and lie about things, acting like I am changing the world.  People like Ben, Jonathan, Lance, Scott, Ken – these guys are changing the world.  I can’t even get off my couch.

My reason for lack of action?  I’m sure some of it is fear.  Some of it lack of faith.  Most of all it is laziness and comfort.  My couch is comfortable.  My family is comfortable.  It’s easier to sit here in the suburbs than to drive into the city to fight.  Am I disgusted with myself?  Absolutely.  Though clearly not enough to get up.  And it is unacceptable.  As the head of my family, I have to set the tone.  I have to fight through the fear, get off the couch and fight.  I want my son (and future kids) to see that example and for it to be ingrained in him.  I want him to see that fighting for/with the marginalized is fighting for the Kingdom.  So this is me confessing and attempting accountability.

Do you get stuck on the couch rather than fighting for/declaring the Kingdom?  How do you fight this fear/laziness?

A lot of people around me have changed careers (or at least companies) in the past 18 months.  Many times there was an aspect of risk involved.  Less money, not as good of benefits, unstable market, etc.  Far too often I have heard people give the following advice, when it comes to career changes:

Look, man.  You’ve got a good paying job with great benefits and job security.  You would be stupid to leave.  Think about your family.  Your future.  A lot of people would love to be in your position right now.

Generally, we don’t question that line of thinking.  Seems wise enough.  Maybe common sense says that’s correct.  I’ve come to a place where I disagree with it.  Is it enough that we have financial stability, good benefits and job security?  What if we are absolutely miserable in our job?  What then?  Are we just supposed to ride it out and stay miserable, for the sake of “security?”  Is that what life is about?

Many people know that I was unhappy in my last job.  I had been there for 5 years, 4 of which were great.  I’d take an 80% success/happiness rate any day.  But the last year, I realized my heart wasn’t in it.  It just wan’t for me anymore.  Even though the economy significantly hurt the business, I still had decent pay and great benefits.  But I was miserable.  Still, some people thought I would be ignorant to leave that situation.  So I left.  My new company, for now, pays less and has “worse” benefits.  I don’t honestly know what that means.  I mean, I have health insurance, which apparently is an important topic right now.  But here’s the thing.  I’m significantly happier.   I love networking, connecting and meeting with people.  I’m in my element and I love it.   The bigger thing?  The health of my family.  We were driving around Saturday and Megan said to me, “You know, I didn’t know how stressed out I was when you were at your old job.  You always came home angry and complaining, and I didn’t realized the stress and tension that caused me.”  Ouch.  Clearly, I’m not winning the husband or dad of the year award.  I didn’t realize the how significant of an impact my job satisfaction had on my family.  Had no clue.  I want my son to understand that your job matters.  Not in the ways that the world thinks, but in terms of your impact.  I want him to find what he’s passionate about and do it.  He will be better for it.  His family will be better for it.  The world will be better for it.  If that means lower pay, fewer benefits and fewer job security, so be it.  Let everybody else be safe and miserable.

Where are you at?  Are you settling for a job because it’s “safe” or are you taking the risk and going for it?  If you’re settling, what fear is holding you back?  Is it worth it?

Today, my baby boy turns 1.  I cannot believe it.  It seems so cliche to say that it seems like yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital.  But it is true.  This year has flown by so fast.  What a joy this little human is.  I cannot imagine life without his goofy little laughs, his sweet hugs or his stellar dance moves.  Or his massive poops.  Seriously, the kid does some legit work.  Being a dad is one of the greatest things on this planet and I am so excited to see all the things in store for our little son.  So, Gabriel Dayne, Happy 1st Birthday!!

2 weeks old

2 months old

4 months old, with our dog – and his best friend – Andy (which was also his first word)

6 months

8 months

11 months

I love this boy!

This is my favorite time of year.  My reasons are simple, really.  College basketball is in full swing and we are right in the thick of the NFL Playoffs, just weeks away from the Super Bowl.  Add to that the hope that is always attached to the beginning of a new year, not to mention my son’s upcoming birthday, and life is good.  Then right around the corner lurks baseball season.  I’m telling you, this time of year is perfect.  My favorite team (and alma mater), the Oklahoma State Cowboys, got a huge win today on the road against #9 Kansas State, resulting in lots of yelling in our living room.  Road wins are not something that have come regularly for the Cowboys, especially against quality teams.  The picture above is of historic Gallagher-Iba Arena.  I cannot explain how incredible watching basketball in that place is.  At one point it was named The Rowdiest Arena in America.  I get goosebumps thinking about it.  I love watching my Cowboys, though I am fairly certain they will cause me to have a heart attack by age 30.  Which is fine, since they always seem to keep things interesting.

As a new dad (you’re still considered new at 11 1/2 months, right?) I cannot wait until Gabe is old enough to enjoy this time of year.  That is, if he likes sports.  Which he will.  Or he will be deported.  Just kidding serious.  Spending Saturday afternoons in our OSU orange, watching/analyzing/yelling/learning from college basketball games, preceded of course by playing one-on-one in the driveway.  This was not a regular part of my childhood, but I am excited to start these traditions (among many others) with Gabe.  I hope that, for him too, this will be the greatest time of the year.  And I pray he doesn’t get wrapped up in the sin of this world and end up a Sooner fan.

What about you? What is your favorite time of the year, and why?